A Halloween Story – Something Is Spooking North London

Published on in Opinion

’Twas Hallows Eve, when all throughout the North, tempers flared and so anger came forth. Curses and rants swarmed Arsenal Fan TV, while crooked fingers lay towards Dele Alli.

This is a tale of two establishments, possessing a bitter rivalry spanning decades, who have well and truly been struck by the fear of Halloween. The sporting clubs ever present in the top six for the past ten years, are now falling into unrest.

Double double, toil and trouble. North London burns and fans’ tempers bubble. Or so the old Shakespeare poem goes, right? Well, whatever was originally written in 1606, it’s safe to say that fans of Tottenham and Arsenal couldn’t care less given the state of their current clubs.

Spurs, who have registered just four points in the month of October, (in all competitions too), fell down to 11th after the weekend’s matches. It’s their worst start to the season since 2008/09, during which they failed to win any of their first 8 games, even with Gareth Bale and Luka Modric at the wheel.

There’s still no excuse now, as the squad contains the likes of Hugo Lloris, Christian Eriksen and Harry Kane, the former being a recent nominee for the Ballon d’Or. Yet their results of late have been so poor, perhaps a ghoul-like haunting could be the only possible explanation.

To some, the evidence of something supernatural in Tottenham is justified. In fact, Dele Alli was so quiet last weekend that it was almost like he’d put his Casper The Friendly Ghost costume on a few days early.

He managed just one shot the whole game, made almost no runs in behind the backline,and created very little for anyone else, all of which added up to suggest a rather absent performance to those watching.

Followers of the 23 year old will remember a time when Alli was making explosive runs in behind, playing with desire, and dynamically linking up with his teammates to give him the title of the world’s next best playmaker.

In fact, Alli’s on-field hunger was so much so that most Spurs fans will remember his notorious temper, and frequent bookings. And yet most supporters would probably welcome this with open arms in the current season, if anything just to prove that there is still fire in his belly.

Of course, it’s not all Alli’s fault. Christian Eriksen hasn’t been the same since talks of his departure to Real Madrid intensified in the summer. Hugo Lloris was making blunders almost weekly before his injury, and Harry Kane is being so tightly man-marked that he is having to drop nearly as deep as a defensive midfielder.

All of this was only exemplified in the weekend’s 2-1 defeat to Liverpool. The gulf in class against The Reds was so evident, it was hard to believe it’s only been five months since the two teams battled it out in the Champions League Final.

Alexander-Arnold and Robertson made Rose and Aurier look like two schoolboys who were playing football just to skip their geography lesson. They were completely all over the place. Ironically for them, maybe attending the class would’ve given them a little insight into some decent positioning.

Speaking of geography, you only have to travel four miles across London to find another club clearly feeling the tremors of some Halloween scares. Arsenal’s October has also featured some truly awful performances, not the least of which being Wednesday night’s defensive shambles against Liverpool.

Granted, they did score five goals, but a team that scores this many, and still loses the game, clearly has issues (even if it was decided on penalties). The Gunners managed to throw away a 3-1 lead, then a 4-2 lead, and finally a 5-4 lead – the latter being in the 94th minute.

This will be something they must be used to by now given they also managed to lose a two goal cushion against Crystal Palace on Sunday. At least, if there is any consolation for the fans, Granit Xhaka didn’t play after his weekend’s antics.

After being substituted in the 61st minute, whilst the game was in the balance at 2-2, Xhaka walked off so slowly that he received some rightful abuse from the fans. Yet instead of running off the pitch to allow his team more time to win, he continued to trudge, cupping his hand around his ear, and telling the Emirates faithful to ‘f**k off’.

The local fans’ YouTube channel, Arsenal Fan TV, wasn’t happy to say the least. For those who haven’t seen it, you may be wondering if the videos are a calm and considered deconstruction of the most recent fixture, where locals have the opportunity to express their feelings towards the club, sipping afternoon tea and eating scones before a quick round of golf.

Well, perhaps ‘Troopz’, a regular pundit of the series, has played some golf – as he fantastically executed a birdie to camera, directed towards Xhaka himself, in the middle of an extremely fiery rant where he even compared Arsenal’s captain to a WWE wrestler, ‘giving it Hulkomania’ as he was substituted.

Reports have emerged that the midfielder is now receiving counselling, due to the fact he feels ‘the supporters don’t like him’, according to Unai Emery. But, just as Tottenham’s woes aren’t solely down to Dele Alli, nor are Arsenal’s entirely caused by Xhaka.

In fact, since the start of the 2018/19 season, The Gunners have registered the most errors leading directly to goals out of any club in the Premier League. They dwarf the likes of Huddersfield Town and Southampton on that list too, a record which is nothing to be sniffed at.

They have conceded fourteen goals in the league already this term, the same amount as Brighton, and only one less than 17th placed Newcastle. So maybe it is that Arsenal just lack the defensive quality of other teams.

And yet, Manchester City are capable of playing with two midfielders in Fernandinho and Rodri as centre backs and still putting in a good performance, as they recently did away at Palace. Arsenal really have no excuse.

Only time will tell how the two giants of North London will escape their October woes. In fact, a good performance and three points for each of them this weekend will almost certainly be proof that ghosts do exist, and that the Halloween spirits have departed until next year. It would explain the recent results, that’s for sure.

One thing to look forward to, no matter what happens, is that next time the viewing of a good old fashioned Halloween thriller is on the cards, sticking the football on will provide you with a whole lot of tricks, and the odd treat.

By Joe Hill

Twitter: @joehill96

Edited by Katherine Guerrero

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The New Goal Kick Law: How Norwich Have Shown Arsenal Who’s Boss

Published on in New
Norwich City celebrate

The 2019/20 football season has brought us many new things. VAR has been introduced to the Premier League, Steve Bruce is now the Newcastle head coach, and, for a brief moment, Paddy Power emblazoned themselves on Huddersfield’s new kit in a horrific ‘Miss Universe’ style satchel.

There have also been some rather consequential rule changes – perhaps the most significant being the new goal kick law. This rule change allows players on the defending team to stand within their own penalty area as a goal kick is being taken. The opposition however, have to remain outside the box until the ball has been played.

Initially this sounds like it might not make much difference at all. After all, goal kicks are just a way of getting the ball back in play and getting on with the real action – right? Well, if the Premier League has any say, this will change the game more than the back-pass rule did in 1992.

Largely, the reason for this is space. If a team’s defenders can now stand in the six yard box, and the attackers remain around the halfway line (or even further forward), the pressing opposition will be stretched further up the pitch, creating holes behind them that can be exploited.

This means that if the defenders have the capability to pass their way through the press, once the ball reaches the forwards, they will be left with a numerical advantage (or at worst, evens).

In order to illustrate this, we can first observe how it should be done, before watching the same technique crumble, using last weekend’s games as punctuation. Believe it or not, Norwich City actually gave us some of the finest examples of how to best exploit this new rule in their shock victory over the reigning champions, Manchester City.

From their goal kicks, they mostly set up with the two centre backs just on the edge of the six yard box. The full backs dropped deeper and the defensive midfielders looked to receive the second ball and support. This allowed four attacking players to push up and fully stretch the City midfield.

passing out from the back

In this example, Sam Byram (3) has pushed up from right back to give the option of a wider ball. The Norwich centre backs (24 and 4) pass between themselves before Krul (1) hits a longer drive to Pukki (22), who despite losing the header, has the support of the fluid defensive midfielders (27 and 23), who win the second ball.

The option of Pukki, Byram and Buendia (17) on the right gives the defenders a get-out-of jail- free card, should playing out from the back not go as planned. Yet the fact that Norwich have both long and short options available, means that either choice can be just as effective.

The City defence doesn’t know whether to push up and close down the ball, at risk of leaving Pukki with a one v one, or to sit back and allow Norwich to have possession (which just isn’t the Guardiola way).

This uncertainty caused real problems for Manchester City in this match, and it was only a matter of time before Norwich punished them.

As City pressed Norwich high on their goal kick, Krul takes the option of ‘Plan ‘B’, and sends a long ball straight to Buendia (17), who has dropped into an area of space, present thanks to the stretching of City’s midfield and attack.

passing out from the back 2

Stiepermann (18) steps across to support, and quickly sends a long ball away to Pukki (22), who beats the offside trap. After this, it is a simple pass to Cantwell (14), who can probably daydream about what he’s having for dinner later, such is the simplicity of his tap in.

It is a really well worked goal, and tactically something that last season’s Championship winners have given all the other Premier League clubs a masterclass in.

Rather embarrassingly, the club sitting at the back of the classroom with no clue what the teacher is talking about is Arsenal. They have indeed shown all the other pupils exactly what you should do if you wanted to fail the test with flying colours.

Against Watford on Sunday, they set up with a fairly similar layout to Norwich from their goal kicks. Generally, they had five to six players looking to become involved in a playing out from the back situation, with four players there as a ‘Plan B’ long ball.

passing out from the back 3

The problem lies in the utilisation of ‘Plan B’. What Norwich were so good at was the variation – Man City didn’t know whether they were coming or going.

Sometimes they played out from the back completely, other times, Krul knocked it straight to the winger. Every now and then, they started to play out from the back, then hit a long ball instead.

Arsenal however, seemed to have no capability to play the long ball. Time and time again, they tried to pass their way out, but only between Sokratis (5), Luiz (23) and Guendouzi (29). The full backs in Maitland-Niles (15) and Kolasinac (31) barely got to the ball, let alone any of the front four.

Every single person in Vicarage Road, and indeed watching at home, could clearly see it was inevitable that Watford would penalise Arsenal for this. How Unai Emery failed to spot this is actually rather baffling.

After losing possession from goal kicks three times (resulting in big chances on their goal), Arsenal try yet again to play out from the back in the fifty-fourth minute. Leno (1) passes short to Sokratis, whose terrible pass to Guendouzi is intercepted by Deulofeu (7). He then squares it to Cleverley (8), who smashes it into the net. Simple.

passing out from the back 4

Only Unai Emery knows exactly why he chose to persist with playing out from the back. There are managers famous for having only a ‘Plan A’ (Marcelo Bielsa is the Godfather of this), and perhaps Emery was trying to imitate this; stick to your guns and in the end, if the tactic is good enough, it will work.

To be fair, if Arsenal did manage to play out from the back without problem, Emery would be praised as a genius. He’d have stuck to his plan relentlessly, in the knowledge that eventually it would pay off. But there is a fine line between genius and stupidity.

Unfortunately for Emery, he ended up on the wrong side of this line last weekend. It looks like Arsenal could’ve learnt a few things from Norwich City.

It’s quite surprising that one of the Premier League’s all-time best clubs has been shown up by a team who were in the second-tier last season. Who knows, if this trend continues, next year Guardiola might just be trying to emulate the famous high press of Luton Town.

By Joe Hill

Twitter: @joehill96

Edited by Katherine Guerrero

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Leeds United, Mike Tyson and… The Simpsons?

Published on in Opinion/Other
Homer Simpson Drederick Tatum

Now this is going to sound strange, but as unlikely as it seems, there really is a way of drawing a parallel between the once heavyweight champion of the world, the once champions of Europe, and the undoubtedly still champions of 6 o’clock television.

Let’s start with Leeds United then. A team with an immense history, from Don Revie to Dennis Wise, who once almost conquered Europe (if it wasn’t for some dodgy French refereeing).

This year marks their centenary year, and after a wobble against Wigan last term ruined their chances of promotion, this time around they are hoping to do one better – return to the promised land.

Leeds have started well this season, rather unsurprisingly when you consider Bielsa had them in for double and triple sessions throughout preseason. However, that might just be the problem – Leeds’ style is unsurprising.

It took a while for teams to work Leeds out last year, as no-one knew what Bielsa would bring to the team. Despite all the praise for him from the likes of Guardiola and Pochetinno, it’s fair to say the Championship was a little taken back to see some real quality tika-taka from the same Leeds side who fell to pieces under the 4-4-2 loving Paul Heckingbottom during the ’17-’18 season.

This year is different, though. No-one is surprised by Leeds’ high press, domination of possession or their relentless attacking: they have resumed almost exactly the same style
as the last campaign under Bielsa.

The Championship has seen that Bielsa’s plan ‘B’ is to do plan ‘A’ better, so if you can come up with a way to stop plan ‘A’, you have a way of stopping Leeds. Granted, this is easier said than done, as has been proven by solid Leeds performances against Bristol City, Brentford, Wigan and Stoke, against all of whom Leeds came away with a comfortable 3 points. However, something very different happened when Swansea met Leeds at Elland Road.

From the beginning, it was clear to see that this Swansea side were happy to settle for a single point. Aside from the usual game slowing measures, they registered just two shots on target from the ninety minutes.

They had an expected goals ratio (xG) of just 0.46 and maintained only 38% possession. So how did they manage the ultimate robbery and win the game 1-0? Enter the Simpsons.

November 1996 brought us Season 8 of The Simpsons, and with it, ‘The Homer They Fall’. Homer (under the guidance of bartender turned manager Moe Syslak) decides to become a professional boxer, due to his diagnosis from Dr. Hibbert of ‘Homer Simpson Syndrome’.

This unique condition allows him to take as many punches as anyone is willing to give him, something which is realised by Homer mid-beating, courtesy of the parents of bullies Jimbo Jones, Dolf Starbeam and Kearney Zzyzwicz (yes, this is their real names).

After Moe convinces Homer to participate (largely due to the gratuitous meals consumed by professional boxers) in exchange for a 60% cut of his winnings, they set to work. It is here that the link between Homer Simpson and Swansea City can be made.

It doesn’t take long for Moe to realise that punching just isn’t Homer’s thing. Instead, Homer should just stand there, absorb the pressure, and execute an effective smash and grab in the ninetieth minute when the opponent is at his most vulnerable by simply nudging the exhausted boxer to the ground.

The similarities between Homer and Swansea – along with Moe Syslak and Steve Cooper – can be seen. Before Homer enters the ring, Moe shouts him this last piece of advice: “No matter how much he hits you, you don’t do nothing okay? You don’t wanna get drawn into a boxing match here.”

It wouldn’t be shocking at all to learn that Steve Cooper (probably) shouted something equally of the same effect to his Swansea players in the Elland Road away dressing room just moments before kick off: Do not engage in a football match – sit back, soak up the pressure, and wait.

This analogy is best served with a pinch of salt of course; it is not to suggest that Leeds were exhausted by the end of the match, but merely to illustrate the principle – Swansea City did not come to engage in a good old fashioned game of football with two sides gunning for the win. Instead, they came to execute the perfect antidote to Bielsa’s plan A – defend at all costs.

Not every team will be so lucky. It’s fair to say that Leeds were unfortunate not to take all three points last weekend, or even to come away with only one.

If every team to visit Elland Road were to arrive with a severe case of ‘Homer Simpson Syndrome’ rushing through their blood, Leeds should and would put the vast majority of teams to bed, considering that they are almost quite literally off the charts in terms of attacking play. They are averaging almost eighteen shots per game in the league, and conceding just over seven.

Statistically, if you were to assume every team converts exactly their expected goals ratio, the Leeds vs Swansea game would be the most ‘unfair’ result of all the Championship fixtures that weekend.

According to ‘infogol’, that game’s xG score of 2.06-0.46 drew a fairness rating of just 36 out of 100. To put that into context, Brentford’s 3-0 win over Derby had an xG score of 3.01-0.16, which gave a ‘fairness’ score of 98.3.

And yet – as is quickly becoming a modern day footballing cliché – games are not won on expected goals.

Ultimately, if Swansea used this tactic in every game for the rest of the season, they would most likely fall short of automatic promotion.

Just as in The Simpsons, Homer eventually gets his comeuppance. In his final fight, he is pitted against ‘Drederick Tatum’, a rather unsubtle Mike Tyson parallel (not the least of which is shown as Drederick spends a period of time in prison, albeit for a more comical crime than the real world heavyweight champion).

Drederick and Homer battle it out on national television, and, rather like the Leeds vs Swansea game, the better side completely dominates the match. In fact, Drederick is almost on the urge of ‘making Homer’s children orphans’ (despite them having a mother; as Tatum mentions, Marge will inevitably die too of grief).

In this fight however, the only smash and grab to take place is when Moe smashes the viewer’s expectations to grab Homer (via mini hovercraft) out of the ring and away from danger.

Swansea may not have needed a ‘Fan Man’ hovercraft to save them last weekend, but if Leeds United carry on dominating teams the way they did in that match, it is certain that most teams to come to the best attended stadium in the championship, wouldn’t be opposed to seeing a Moe Syslak flying over the horizon to grab them from danger, and escape a Bielsa style knockout.

By Joe Hill

Twitter: @joehill96

Edited by Katherine Guerrero

Stats courtesy of @AllStatsArentWe and @InfogolApp

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